Throwback Trill Day: Dining Hall Rules
Trill or Not Trill

As the new school year approaches, today’s #ThrowbackTrillDay brings me to one of my favorite college pastimes. I loved eating in the Dining Hall. At my school, the cafeteria was called Montgoris. There are so many stories and too little time, my friends. Anyways, I’m here to help our young freshmen entering school with their first dining hall experience. Below are a few memories and rules to help them get along. If I’m missing any, please share.

omelet stations

Thanks for the omelet, Lucy!

1. The Omelet Station
First and foremost breakfast is the best part of any college meal plan. There are usually a variety of cereals, yogurts and fruit. You’ve got your bacon, sausage patties or links and boxed scrambled (delicious) on deck. All the fixins by the scoop, at the palm of your hand or steam washed and oft stained plate. As delectable as all that sounds, there is only one true breakfast champion. The Omelet Station reigns supreme.I would pile everything into it, from spinach to turkey bits. The line was and will be the longest. They’re usually made right on the spot, so you get a bit a freshness too! What a win.
ADVICE: If you have a 10AM class don’t show up to the caf for a 9:30AM omelet and expect to make it to History of the Moors on time.

2. Walking in with a Guest
The dining hall can have a red carpet feel to it. Instead of the glamour and designer dresses there are hangovers and Adidas flip flops. The paparazzi remains, only this time it’s in the form of your fellow classmates. Walking into the dining hall on a Saturday or Sunday morning together means your dating. Do it again for dinner and well folks, you’re married. Swiping for a commuter student is like bringing a date from another high school to prom. I had a friend who never lived on campus but was present for every meal. If I saw him on a Saturday morning, I knew what that meant (wink, wink). That’s potentially a huge deal. Back in my day, there wasn’t TMZ but there was a table of young ladies who knew all the stories. They shared it all, accurate or not.
ADVICE: Your eating partner can easily turn into a boyfriend, girlfriend or cuffin buddy.

waffle-overflow

you’ve gone too far

3. The Waffle Maker
Back to breakfast. Not every dining hall has one of these. If yours did not or does not, what a loss. I’ve been to and worked at a number of schools and most dining halls have a waffle maker. It’s usually in close proximity to the microwave (By the way, only use the microwave in the case of an emergency). I have watched college student after college student botch this process up. Some forget to spray some non stick, leaving the next person with unsavory batter residue. We’ve got the “Overflower,” who puts too much waffle mix and leaves us cleaning up the remains. To some, cleaning means licking. An added rule, don’t be the one who licks the cafeteria waffle maker.
ADVICE: If you aren’t sure how to use the waffle maker, go wait in line for an omelet.

4. Know the Hours
This is important for two reasons. Reason 1: Not many things are worse than catching the dining hall during the switch over. This is the time when the staff doesn’t serve food because they are preparing for the next meal. You show up at 11:30, only to see some bagels because they are getting ready for lunch. I never knew when breakfast ended and it was a rude awakening each time. Reason 2: The peak hours are critical.  Nobody wants to end up sitting with strangers.  This is also important if you eat as a crew. Getting a good table is key. There’s a seven person crew now pulling chairs to a 4 person table. Not terrible but where am I supposed to put my tray. Prime location also equals the best views and proximity to whatever food section you desire.
ADVICE: Set alarms on the weekend for when breakfast ends.

5. Mixing the Juices
I’ll keep this simple. Mixing anything more than 2 juices is unacceptable. If you want Mountain Dew, Pepsi and Fruit Punch juice in one cup, go back to high school. In fact, go back to middle school.
ADVICE: 2 juices at most. You’re an adult now, make a decision.

5. Dress Code
There are many debates on what’s acceptable. I’ll break it down for you.
-Slippers with any type of fur on them: NOT TRILL
-Pajama Bottoms: PASS
-Full Pajama Set: NOT TRILL
-Basketball shorts: PASS
-“Wife Beater” undershirt: NOT TRILL
-Head Scarves: NOT TRILL
-Naked. NOT TRILL
ADVICE: Be casual but never too casual.

Share your stories and Happy Eating my friends!

 

jeff trill
Stay trill, folks.
MrJeffDess